The holiday season is in full swing and for some, this time of year can be challenging, especially when our usual holiday traditions change or a loved one is no longer with us.
Traditions play an important role in our lives, often providing a sense of connection, comfort, and continuity. They remind us of our values, our families, and the shared experiences that shape our lives. However, when life changes, whether through a move, a loss, or a shift in family dynamics, it can feel difficult to embrace the celebrations that once brought us joy.
Why Traditions Matter
Traditions, big or small, are not just rituals but are a key part of what makes us feel grounded in our culture, our community, and ourselves. They help us maintain a sense of identity, especially in times of change. Repeated actions—like decorating the tree, cooking family recipes, or exchanging gifts—may seem routine, but they are deeply meaningful. These traditions create moments of connection, reminding us of the people and the values we hold dear. In challenging times, these rituals can offer comfort and stability, but they may also be hard to maintain when life feels unpredictable.
It’s Okay to Grieve when Traditions Change
When a beloved tradition is disrupted—whether because a family member is no longer around or circumstances simply change—it’s natural to feel sadness or loss. It can be difficult to navigate holidays when the people or routines we associate with them are missing. It’s important to allow yourself space to feel these emotions. Grieving the loss of a tradition is a normal response.
But rather than dwelling solely on the changes, try to focus on the deeper meaning behind these traditions—the connection, love, and shared memories that they represent. The essence of the holiday season isn’t about the exact details of how things were, but about the relationships and the experiences we create together. The form may change, but the heart of the season can remain intact.
Reinventing Traditions to Keep the Spirit Alive
Though it may feel unsettling to break from tradition, new traditions can bring their own sense of joy and fulfillment. Here are a few ways to maintain the spirit of the season, even when the familiar celebrations are no longer possible:
Reinvent the Tradition: Just because you can’t celebrate the way you used to doesn’t mean the holiday is a lost cause. Consider adapting the tradition. It might look different, but it can still help preserve the connection.
Create New Traditions: Sometimes the best way to cope with a change is by creating something fresh. If your usual Christmas day is filled with a lot of downtime before the meal, introduce a new group activity—a virtual game or a fun outdoor adventure. New traditions can grow into cherished memories for years to come.
Embrace Small Rituals: Even if large family gatherings feel overwhelming, you can still honor the smaller rituals that make the holiday feel special. Whether it’s playing a favorite game in the car before arriving at a family gathering, or enjoying a particular song together, these small acts can carry the same warmth as the larger tradition. If you miss your cousin’s homemade cookies, try making them yourself and share the recipe with others.
Show Your Love in New Ways: While traditions often center around shared activities, they’re ultimately about connection. If you're unable to follow through with a long-standing tradition, find alternative ways to express your affection. Handwritten letters, personalized gifts, or even a simple phone call can create a meaningful connection, showing loved ones you care, even if things look different this year.
Give Yourself Grace During Tough Moments
Even in times of change and loss, a meaningful holiday season is still within reach. By embracing the deeper values of connection, memory, and love, you can make this time of year meaningful—even if your traditions look a little different. The key is to stay flexible and open to creating new ways to celebrate the bonds that matter most.
Adapting to change, especially during the holidays, is hard. Certain moments may hit you unexpectedly, and it’s important to allow yourself to feel whatever comes up. If you find that sadness or a sense of loss is overwhelming you, or if you’re struggling to find joy in the season, it could be helpful to assess your mental health. Sometimes what feels like just a “holiday funk” can be a sign of something deeper, like depression.
If you’re finding the holidays especially tough this year, remember that is’s okay to ask for help. Whether you’re seeking guidance for yourself or offering support to others, resources are available.
988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: Dial 988 https://988lifeline.org/
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